Invader Zim Fanfiction

Hot Dogs

Because of Zim
Bloody Valentine
Body Switchers
Dib's Mind
General Insanity
God save the Dib
Hello Darkness
Hot Dogs
Humans are stretching
Johnny Meets Zim
New Class of DOOM!
Short Endings
Single Mistake
The Nightmare Ends
The Sight
Thirteen Years Later
Transportal Doom
You Know

Hot dogs.
Zim was hard at work on his latest plan at world conquest. In the uppe rlevels, he could hear Gir screaming insanely. He tried to ignore it.
"Maybe if I rigged all the tomatoes to attack…"
"I could program-"
Zim clutched his head.
"AUGH! THREE INCHES of reinforced TITANIUM ALLOY cannot keep the insanity out!"
He bolted for the elevator, determined to shut that robot off if it was the last thing he ever did.
Upstairs, he found Gir on the floor playing with what appeared to be a giant hot dog.
"GIR! Put that human food down! NOW!"
Zim watched in horror as the 'hot dog' sprouted legs, and started running around.
"Naw, master! It's a weiner dog! I NAMED HIM WILLY!"
"Weiner dog…?"
"Yeah! The lady at the store said it was a daksund, but she's dumb, apparently."
Zim eyes the dog, who was busy chasing it's tail. It bore some resemblance to the 'cute' hamster. He shuddered at the recollection of that disaster.
"Look! It does tricks! SIT WILLY!"
To Zim's amazement, the dog sat. Gir ran through the standard list of dog commands. The dog performed each of them. Zim smiled, and retreated to his lab.

"But sir, don't you remember the LAST time we tried this?"
"So, don't you think doing it AGAIN will result in similar failure?"
"NO! This time it will work." Zim told the computer.
"You know the definition of insanity is doing the same thing, and expecting different results?"
"Just making sure…"
"NOW! We shall begin the process of MUTATING THE WEINER!"
"Yeah. I'll probably end up cleaning it up, too…" The computer said under his breath.
"What was that?"

Dib sat straight up in bed. He had been woken up by a loud noise. And loud noises can only mean one thing.
"ZIM!" He shouted.
"BE QUIET!" Gaz screamed from her room.
Dib jumped out of bed and looked out his window. He saw several police vehicles drive by, but nothing else. He quickly dressed, and climbed out the window.
He followed the flashing lights into the city, where he found a huge… weiner dog.
Destroying the city.
"Zim must really be getting desperate." He said. He spotted the little alien riding on the back of the huge canine. Zim was laughing maniacally. Until the dog took off, running like a maniac.

Between trying not to fall the 80 feet to the ground and trying to see where the dog was going, Zim was having a hard time of it. It just got harder when he saw where the dog was headed. The Ocean. And at 200 yards a bound, he was getting there, fast.
"NO! BAD DOG! SIT! SIT, WILLY!" The dog ignored him, and splashed into the water.
"NO! Go back to the shore! BAD DOG!"
Willy couldn't hear him, and kept heading deeper. Zim tried to avoid the burning water. He soon saw that he was going to have to swim back to shore. Willy was up to his shoulders, and showed no sign of going back yet. In a awkward swan dive, Zim leapt off the dog, and into the cold ocean water.
Dib arrived on the beach just in time to see the dog disappear over the horizon. He hoped Zim had gone with it. It would never make it across the ocean. His hopes evaporated upon seeing the green boy swimming desperately to shore. The paste did, and had, washed off. Tendrils of steam rose from his body as he sprawled on the sand.
Dib laughed at his foe. Zim noticed him, and glared. He threw a huge ball of sand at him, and ran off toward his house. Dib wiped sand off his face, and glared at the retreating alien. Then he abandoned it and began walking home.
Two days later.
(Translated from Chinese)
"HEY! What is that?"
"It's… It's… A WEINER DOG!" The two boys stared at each other, screamed, and ran, screaming, for the shore.
On the beach, bathers stare wordlessly at the approaching menace.

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