Me: HI Johnny!
Johnny: Do I know you?
Me: No. But you will. You see, you are stuck in my fanfic.
Johnny: Will I be here long? I have stuff to do…
Me: Probably not. I have a reeeealy short attention span.
Johnny: Ok.

A big nut rolls down a hill. It falls in a river. It splashes us, so I take out a ray gun and fry that nut.
Johnny: Why did you make the nut if you were just gonna explode it?
Me: I was bored. And it deserved it. It splashed me. With water.
J What the hell have you been smoking?
I look at the floor.
Me: salt…
Johnny: You're insane!
Me: YES! I want more people. Ummm, who should I bring in next?

Devi Pops up in a cloud of smoke.
Devi: What the hell? Where am… Johnny? What are you doing here? (She pulls out a few cans of mace.)
Devi: Answer that carefully.
Johnny: It's not my fault. Blame her! (Points to me. Devi sprays me with mace. I giggle.)
Me: OW :>
Devi: How come we're here?
Me: Cuz I'm bored. I have Zero things to do. Exept maybe my homework. Wanna noodle?
I hold out two gigantic noodles.
J and Devi: No thanks.
GIR pops up.
Me: Oops, that was an accident. On purpose
G: YAY! HI MELISSA!
Me: Hi Gir.
G: I remember your last Fanfic! I was on fire!
I cough and pull at my collar.
Me: Yes, You were.
Johnny: You're not lighting me on fire. (Reaches into coat.)
Devi: Me neither. (Holds out Mace.)
Me: It's not my fault! HE was the one who jumped out of the Voot!
Johnny: I don't have time for this.
He turns to leave. I grin evilly.
Me: I have a secret.
Johnny walks into the woods and drops out of sight.
Johnny: AHHH!
Me: He'll be back in a second.
Johnny falls out of the sky, and lands in the woods. Falls through the ground. Reappears in sky. Repeat.
Me: Hmmm. That's not supposed to happen.
G: YEEAAH!
He runs and jumps onto Johnny. They fall together.
Devi: you think maybe you should fix that?
Me: Maybe. This is interesting though.
I throw the noodles in the river. They float.
Me: Whee! Floating noodles!
I jump on one.
Devi: HEY! You think maybe you could fix this now!
She gestures at Gir and Johnny, who looks a little sick
Me: yeah, Ok.
Johnny and Gir land on the ground. They're OK.
Johnny: AUGH! You are a horrible fanfic writer! Jhonen would want me to do this!
He pulls out machete and chases me around.
Me: WHEE!
POOOF
HNB: NOODLES! Where is I? I fly like fried corn!
He jumps on Noodle and is bourne away by the river.
HNB: I AM THE NOODLE BOY THAT FLOATS! WORSHIP MY PORES!

Devi: That was interesting.
Johnny: Hey, that's MY character. You can't use him
Me: OK I'll backspace all that.
G: But you can't have backspaced it! If you did we wouldn't be saying this, and then you would have typed it, so then we would be saying this, but then you would have backspaced it so we WOULDN'T be saying this, but-
BOOM!
Me: Did anyone else notice Gir's head catch on fire?
Devi: No…
Johnny: I have a question, Almighty author.
Me: (getting a little scared) Yes?
Johnny: If I kill you, will we go back to normal?
Me: I donno. Maybe. Maybe you'll be trapped here forever though.
Johnny: DAMN!
Devi: Do it anyway, J.
Johnny: OK.
Me: NO!
Johnny stabs me. I die.
Me: Yay! I'm dead!
Johnny: Why are you still here!?!
Me: Oh, I'm not really here. I'm at home typing at my computer and shooting up powdered sugar. Mmm… Caffeine…
Johnny:…
Me: I'm actually trapped in the horror of existence. I can escape for a short while when I write or read, but the smallest amount of outside stimuli brings me crashing back into reality… Get it? By stimuli I mean- OH DAMN! THE BUS!

Johnny: Where'd she go?
Devi: Shit. I think she had to get on the skool bus. How old was she?
Johnny: Do evil incarnates have ages?
Devi: I guess so.
Johnny: I guess about 14.
Devi: Fuck. That means we're stuck here till she gets back. That's gotta be like 8 hours.

Silence for a few moments as our heros contemplate their dooms. Then…
Devi: What's that?
Johnny: What?
Devi: I can hear the sound of a motor running. It sounds like a computer doing something…
Johnny: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?!
Devi: It's… the screen saver.
Johnny: Hey, look. It's me. Wow. This girl needs a life…bad.
Devi: Look. There's the page where you tried to kill me. (Looks around for missing can of mace.) I remember that. You made me a reclusive shut-in, you bastard!
Johnny: Hey, look, I don't remember this… (I Feel Sick comic stuff.)
Devi: Me neither… Hey! That looks like a painting I want to do! Why is it…?
She looks at the comic panels closely
Devi: Wow. I never k new I could make evil paintings. I guess I won't take that Nerve job after all.
(WHAT HAVE I DONE????)
Johnny: HEY! I thought you were gone to Skool!
Me: How could stuff happen if I wasn't here to type it?
(Actually, I just got home from school. This has been sitting here ripening all DAY!)
Me: MORE CHARACTERS!
Johnny: NOOOO!
Guess who's next!
Zim pops up in a cloud of dust.
Z: WHAT THE FUCK!?!
Me: Awww, you said a bad word. You can't say bad words, you're a kid's TV show!
Johnny: But WE can swear?
Me: Yes, You're a comic book. You're required to swear profusely. It's funny, I guess.
Z: Fuck dat shit.
He pulls out a laser gun and fries me. I die.
Me: YAY! I'm dead!
Z: What the… WHY DO YOU NOT DIE?
Johnny: We already tried that.
Z: HEY! Where did the other stinky human go?
Johnny: WHAT DID YOU DO WITH DEVI?
Me: Quit yelling, you Neanderthal. (good word) She was needed for a very important plot development. I had to send her back. She's gonna jump into a grotesquely obese woman. Look:
I hold up my comic book to the screen. It shows Devi about to jump into the Fat Psychic Lady. Suddenly, she runs the other way, out into the street.
Me: Uh oh.
Devi begins to scream about FANFICTION EVIL! She runs around yelling at people. Sickness sits in the apartment, content.
Me: Shit…
Johnny: What did you do!?!
Me: Her consciousness is altered! She knows she's just a figment of a very twisted man's imagination. I have done the unspeakable! I have ALTERED A COMIC!
Z: I CARE NOT! SEND ZIM HOME!
Me: shut up.
He poofs out. (I have a plot now. I bought it for a nickel from one of the shadier creative lobes of my brain… Zim is no longer needed. Wow. I'm giving up ZIM for Johnny. Go figger.)

Cut to Devi sitting in a mental hospital. She is a drooling mess. She keeps screaming, but it's nothing comprehensive now.
Me: Shit.
Johnny: What DID YOU DO TO DEVI?!? No, wait. I don't care. Fix it or I'll keep killing you until you die.
CRASH!!! BOOMMM!!!
Me: Shit.
Johnny: WHAT NOW?!
Me: The official Man himself.
Jhonen Vasquez drops into my Fic.
Jhonen: WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO!?!
Me: IM SORRY! Don't kill me!
Jhonen: Well this is your fanfic, you psycho. Fix all his.
Me: Can I have your autograph?
Jhonen: HELL NO!
Me: Ok… I guess I'll fix this then. (STRAIN!)
Me: I can't
Jhonen: What do you mean you can't?!?!
Me: this is a fanfic. I'm not allowed to go against the comic. YOU drew it, I'm just writing it. It's NOT my fault.
Johnny: I hate you.
Jhonen: Where do you live?
Me: Ohio, why?
Jhonen: I'm gonna come you your house and kill you.
Me: YAY! JHONEN'S COMIN TO MY HOUSE!!!
Johnny: But he's gonna kill you.
Me: SO?!?! He's comin' to my HOUSE! I wonder how long it takes to get to Ohio from San Jose… HEY! How'd you get here so fast?
Jhonen: I flew.
Me: OK. Hey… waitaminite… what are you gonna do with that baseball bat? NO NO ! Get AWAY!
Jhonen: And now to delete this mass of evil.
Me: NO! Not my FANFIC!! Oh, God, he's TOUCHING MY COMPUTER!
(I die in real life from massive head trauma and blood loss. So sad.)

Johnny: Hey! Anybody remember ME! HELP! DON'T LEAVE ME HERE!

YAY! I'm done. What did I tell you about my attention span? Yup. I found a new high today… MUSTARD! WOOHOO! YEE-AH!



Someone who reviewed me wanted more crazyness. And since I let my reviewers do whatever they want, HERE IT IS!

(Hidden Moral: REVIEW, YOU LAZY TWITS!)

I own nothing. AUGHHGHHGHHGHGHHGH!-BOOM! ( - Me exploding.)

Johnny is sitting on his couch, watching some people on gurneys being wheeled out of a restaurant. Anyone with eyes could tell they were dead. He grinned like nuts. And then, suddenly,

POOF!

He looks around to find himself in a secluded glen. A peaceful stream runs through the middle. It looks slightly familiar...

Johnny: FOOK!

Me: YES! Again, I am forced to bring you into a fanfic! This ought to be more fun, though.

Johnny: I thought you were dead?

Me: Yes, well, I annoyed the devil to the point where he pulled a few strings to get me the HELL out of hell. I don’t think he liked me very much.

POOF!

Satan: AUGH! I thought I got rid of that crazy-bird!

Me: Yes, you did, but I’m writing a fanfic. NO ONE IS IMMUNE TO FANFIC POWER!

(YOU, the reader, pop into the story.)

You: What the heck?

You are crushed by a rock, because I don’t know enough about you to make any other effort.

Johnny: that was...interesting.

Satan: I demand that you let me out of this ‘fanfic’ place this INSTANT or I shall put upon you a curse which-

Me: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m immune to you, cuz I’m not really here.

Satan: FUCK!

Johnny: Tell me about it.

The nice guy I met at Hot Topic today pops up, cuz I like him.

Guy: Hey! What am I doing- Oh, hi, Melissa.

Me: Hey...

Johnny: Do you exist?

Guy: Yeah... I guess so... (Pats himself.) Yeah, I’m pretty sure I do.

Johnny: Good. Tell her to let us out. (Points to me.) Or else. (Pulls out big knife.)

Guy: Um... Okay... Is that Satan? Hey, that looks a lot like JHONEN VASQUEZ’S SATAN! Are you a JV fan?

Me: YEAH! Are you? The only JV fans I know are online!

Guy:YEAH! Oh, wow. Hey, this is your fanfic, right? Can you bring him in?

Me: Yeah, OK!

Satan: Oh, hell.

Jhonen: WHAT THE FUCK?!!? I thought I killed you!

Me: Yeah, but I’m better now.

Jhonen: CRAP. You’re a scary fan girl, aren’t you?
Me: Yeah! And I got a scary fan boy here, too!

Guy: Hey, wazzup.

Me: This isn’t as funny as the other one.

Johnny: the other one wasn’t ‘funny.’

Jhonen: Yup.

Satan: I am goin to kill you.

Me: YAY!!! Bein dead’s fun.

Johnny: Don’t kill her, we’ll be stuck here.

Guy: Um, this is cool and all, but, uh, I still got a lot of homework to do.

Me: OKYDOKE BY!

Guy: Maybe some other time.

Me: Yeah, OK. (Guy disappears.)

Me: Too bad that was all in my head.

Johnny: We’re in your head?

Jhonen: I have a knife. (knife appears in hand)

Me: HEY! I didn’t say that was gonna happen.

Jhonen: Yeah, but I’s an author. Being the AUTHOR of the subject of your fanfic, I have power over you.

Johnny: Shouldn’t I have power too? I’m an author.”

Me: But all you make is Happy Noodle boy.

Jhonen: HNB sucks. He doesn’t count.

Johnny: So wait, I make a guy that yells, and he sucks, you make a guy that murders genocidal, you get a cult following?

Jhonen: Yup.

Me: Will you marry me?

Jhonen: Fuck no.

Me: I wasn’t talking to you.

Johnny: I’m already married to MEAT.

Me: Nuh-uh.

Johnny: You’re right. But I’m not married to YOU!

Me: Aw, man.

Jhonen: Maybe if you weren’t so mean.

Me: I’m not mean, you’re a sissy.

Johnny: You’re not mean, you’re psychotic.

Me: Mmyep. I need a plot. My brain’s takin a little nappy-bye right now. (Liquid brain leaks out ear.)

Jhonen: Uh... OHH! I KNOW!

Me: WHAT! TELL ME!

Johnny: you could bring in ALL THE CHARACTERS I’VE EVER MADE!

Me: WOOT!

POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOF!

Me: WOW, that was hard. I might not have enough energy to get you all out now.

Everyone: WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE?!?!?!?

Psychodoughboy: Hey! I exist again! SHIT! Nny, kill yourself.

Mr. Eff: NO! Don’t kill yourself. That’s not cool.

Me: Too bad, he couldn’t kill himself even if he wanted to. Cuz I don’t want him to...

Squee: SQUEEEEE! (I am creative J)

Johnny: Hey, Squee. How’s it goin?
Satan: WHERE AM I???

Johnny: You’re in a fanfic by this psycho here. (Points to me)

Group of assholes that are alive: Hey, let us out!

Group of assholes that are deaDevi: Yeah!

Me: I don’t LIKE assholes.

Johnny: Hey, we have something in common.

Me: Johnny... (Gestures to crowd.)

Dead assholeSatan: HEY! YOU KILLED US! You’re gonna die, you fag!

(They make like to attack Johnny)

Dead assholes explode.

Me: Ohhhh, fireworks.

Satan: Gotta admit, that’s kinda cool.

Live assholeSatan: Holy fuck...

Jhonen: Why did you bring them here, then, even?

Me: U

Jhonen: I think it’s either a smile, or a flying bowl.

Me: 0.o

Johnny: What, she can’t talk anymore?

Me: . /.

Jhonen: Okay, that one’s harder. She’s either glaring or maybe she’s Chinese.

(I learned to use the keyboard to make faces! ;)

Squee: Oooooooh.

The glen flickers. People look around fearfully. All assholes disappear. Devi materializes next to Johnny.

Devi: What’s happening?

Me: Sorry there, guys. Had a temporary lapse in focus. Writing a story is hard, you know.

Johnny: So... what was that?

Me: My god you’re stupid. I haven’t slept in three days, cuz I wanted to see if I could stay up. And now I’m tired. I hope I don’t fall asleep, cuz if that happens, this place’ll shatter, and you’ll probly all die.

Johnny: I have never been in any place so perilous as your fanfics.

Me: Yup .

Jhonen: And what about me.

Me: Oh, you won’t die.

Jhonen: Phew

Me: You’ll probably just be braindead.

Jhonen: Oh, god.

Devi: Hey, I remember you.

Me: Yesh...um... (Hides face, no, scratch that, disappears.)

Johnny: Where’d she go?

Forest flickers again. Evrything turns gray. Sky drops, becomes a round ceiling.

Jhonen: Why are we in a plane?

(Cuz I felt like it.)

Johnny: Melissa?

(Yup. I’m out here in my computer room, now. Keeping myself in there was getting... hazardous.)

Johnny swears, and takes his hand off the knife hidden behind his back

(Yesh.)

Jhonen: Who’s flying this thing?

Overhead screeches with static.

Pilot: Heyellow. This is your pilot. We are now cruising at about two bazillion feet.

Evryone: 0.o

Pilot: We’re somewhere over the Atlantic ocean, I think. Heading... South? I dunno. If anyone knows how to read all these dials, please come to the front of the plane now.

Fillerbunny: (yup, he’s here!) WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE! YES!!!!

Squee’s DaDevi: Hey, author bitch, who’d you dig up to fly this wreck?

(Some hobo. He doesn’t really know how.)

A HUGE hole opens in the side of the plane. Squee’s dad flies out. Hole is fixed.

(And I’m not a bitch.)

Fillerbunny: HEY! YOU’RE JHONEN VASQUEZ! You’re the one who condemned me to a life of misery, just so you could make a crappy comic book!

Jhonen: Yeah, pretty much.

Fillerbunny: Will you kill me?

Jhonen: Melissa?

I do the hole thing. Fillerbunny grins the whole way down.

Psychodoughboy: That was great.

(AUGH TOO MANY CHARACTERS! ABORT! ABORT! #.0)

Psychodoughboy, Mr. Eff, Satan, and Pretty much everyone else disappears.

(I have a very limited spectrum. They may be back.)

Pilot: BWAHAAHAAAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!!

(Um...)

Jhonen: Lemme guess. He’s bipolar isn’t he?

(Yep)

Johnny: And he hasn’t had any medication in about a month, right?
(Yep.)

Squee’s MoMe: Hey... wuzzgoinon...?

Squee: Mom?

Squee’s MoMe: Who’re you?

(He’s your son, you druggie.)

Squee‘s moMe: Hey... I’m clean...

Johnny: Y’no Squee, I could kill her if you like.

Shmee: Let him, Squee!

Squee: No... she doesn’t mean it...

LURCH!!!

Squee’s mom accidentally falls out the window someone accidentallyleft open.

Johnny: I didn’t think you could open windows on planes.

(SHHHHH!)

Pilot: If you all look out the window right now...

Evryone looks.

Pilot: ...It’ll tip over.

Evryone: O.O

Pilot: heh, no, I just kid. You’ll see someone falling.

Evryone looks, AND THERE I AM! Falling and singing KAREOKE!

If I had a lot of money,

I’d move to another country,

I’d dissappear, not tell a soul,

I’d change my name.

Or maybe I’d go back to school,

Major in something foolish,

And I could do it, cuz I’d have a lot of money.

Maybe I could jump,

Jump off the Brooklyn bridge

But I don’t live in Brooklyn, and I don’t know how to swim.

Maybe I could find religion,

Go on some kind of mission,

Feed the poor and then I would go to heaven.

If I believed in heaven.

Aw, foogit.

ANYONE WANNA HEAR A SONG I WROTE MYSELF?

Evryone shakes their heads violently. But I can’t see it cuz I’m OUTSIDE THE PLANE! AUGGHHHHH!

(sing to tune of ‘mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the lord’)

Oh, mine eyes have seen the horror of the coming of the bus.

It’s swerving ‘round the corner and it’s coming to get us.

It’ll take us kicking, screaming, and we’ll all put up a fuss,

We hate to go to school!

Mean and nasty ugly teachers,

Mean and nasty ugly teachers,

Mean and nasty ugly teachers,

And the principal is worse!

Mmyep.

I used to sing that in sixth grade to keep myself from going insane with hate. (I had issues in sixth grade)

Jhonen: My god.

Johnny: What kind of twisted upbringing did you have?

Me: Meheheheheh.

And then everyone realizes that even though I’m falling at EXACTLY 9.8 meters/second, I HAVN’T DROPPED OUT OF SIGHT YET!

Evryone: AUGGHHHHHH!

But the plane doesn’t fall into the ocean.

It explodes first. V

I dunno. I’ve been typing for two hours. My fingers have been worn into nubs.

ANYONE GOT A BETTER ENDING? SEND IT TO ME, I’LL PUT IT UP, MAYBE!

PLEEEEZE REVIEW!

To those who review, I will give cookies! Gold bars! Diamonds! Eternal life! Nuclear weapons! SODA!

(Note: Sorry, I’m no longer allowed to send nuclear weapons through the mail.)

Thanks to...whoever it was, and her friend... I dunno, I’m too lazy to go check the email.

Johnny: Hey, where’d this island come from?

Me: I dunno.
Jhonen: Ok, for the last time, Melissa, we’re stuck on a friggin ISLAND, will you PLEEZE send us home?
Me: Mmmmmm, nope.


Squee: Hey, could we build a shelter out of that driftwood?
He points to a bunch of logs on the beach.

Johnny: Probably.

(It’s about two hours later. We made two little shelters.)

Jhonen: That ought to do it...

Johnny: Yeah, just so long as it doesn’t rain.

Me: I LIKE the rain.

Jhonen: Oh, god, no..
.
The sky clouds over, and it starts to pour. And I do mean POUR.

Me: WHEEE! (Goes off, runnin’ in the rain.)

Johnny: WHY did you have to mention the ‘just so long as’?

Squee: Really. You KNOW she’s psychotic.

Jhonen: You two shut up.

Me: Whew! Hey, our shelter’s all wet.

Johnny: No shit, Sherlock.

Me: Hey, I know where we can stay! There’s some tents and stuff over...(Looks around) THERE! (Runs off.)

Me: (Off screen) Hey, it’s not even raining over here!

Johnny: Hey, it’s not.

(There’s a fire, too. Next to food.)

Jhonen: Why didn’t you TELL us about this BEFORE?!?!?!

Me: Hey, we’re here, aren’t we? (Eats a twinkie. Mmmm, twinkie.)

Johnny: Stop me. I’m gonna kill her. I swear to god, I’m gonna kill her.

Jhonen: Shoot. I don’t think Squee can hold us both back.

Me: I’ll be going now....(Dissappears)

Squee: I’m goin to sleep....

Johnny: We might as well go to sleep, too. Ther’s nothing to do while it’s dark.

Jhonen: I hate sleep.

Jhonen: Oh, yeah. What do you DO all night?
Johnny: Well USUALLY...

Jhonen:: Heh. Oh yeah. Um..
.
(JOHNNY IF YOU KILL JHONEN OR SQUEE I WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL SO DON’T YOU DARE-)

Johnny: You mean a hell worse than THIS?

(Oh yeah. I’m... uh... in my tent.)

Jhonen: We get our own tents?

Me: Yeah!

Squee: Sweet.

About three hours later

Me:AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!

Johnny: What the hell?

I cam TEARING out of my tent like some bad stuff was after me.

Jhonen: That freaky girl....

(YESH!)

Johnny: What’s wrong with you?

Me: MY TENT’S HAUNTED!

Jhonen: My god you’re stupid.

Squee: Haunted by what?

Me: Ethiopian baboons. GHOSTS, You moron.

Johnny: You’re psychotic. NOTHING IN THIS PLACE EXISTS UNLESS YOU SAY IT DOES!

Me: NO! I didn’t make this!

(I did.)

Me: Who’re you?
(I’m your subconscious.)

Me: Nuh-uh.
(Fine. Don’t believe me.)

Johnny: How can you talk?

(HEY! You’re subconscious not only talked, but also had (TWO) bodies, argued, AND tried to get you to kill yourself. I can just talk.)

Johnny: How’d you...

Me: Don’t worry. We all know it. You’re a book. And I wouldn’t be writing this unless I loved you anyway.

Johnny: I feel much better. (SARCASM!)
Me: Back to da GHOST!

Jhonen: I’m going back to bed.

Johnny: I’m going back to look for ships.

Me: GHOSTS!

Squee: Ghosts are Scarrrrrrrry.

Me: Yesh. And that’s why I’m sending.... JOHNNY to kill it for me!

Johnny: I can’t kill a ghost.

Me: How do you know?

Johnny: Uh....

Me: EXACTLY! Back to my tent!

Johnny crawls into my tent. There’s a spoooooky ghost on my sleeping bag.
Ghost: Hey.

Johnny: Hey. Howzit going?

Ghost: I’m dead at the moment... can’t complain, though.

Johnny: So, do you have like, ghost powers?

Ghost: Yeah.

Johnny: Like what?

Ghost:...
The tent flickers.

(Uhhhhhh That’s not supposed to happen.)

The tent flickers again.

POOOOF!

Johnny? JOHNNY? JHONEN??! SQUEE? ENNYBUDDY?????

My Dad: Melissa? Oh, you’re still in here writing fanfics? And you havn’t even done your homework...

Me: Okay...

Almighty Author ending
This is an extra ending my friend Abby made because she didn’t like mine. Yesh. Just remember I DIDN’T MAKE THIS!
I don't think Abby likes me very much, I am NOT this much of an evil bitch. I'm really not.
When I'm in a good mood.

Ghost: Um, she scared me first.
Johnny: She does that sometimes.
G: Oh, I see.
POOF Ghost disappears.
Melissa’s powers at work.
Melissa: That takes care of that
Johnny: you mean you just poofed him out for nothing?
Melissa: Mmyep.
Johnny: Must…fight…urges…
Melissa: It could be a part of the romantic plot. (licks lips and makes growling noise.)
Johnny: Uh… I can’t, I have a girlfriend. Her name’s Marissa.
Melissa: Maybe I’ll just kill her off.
Johnny: Don’t even, I will kill you.
Melissa: Not if I kill you first.
Johnny: I’ll just come back, maybe after a bagel though. Damn, hell makes a yummy bagel.
Melissa: what happened to Squee?
Squee: SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
Johnny: That answers that…
Melissa: what are you squeeing about? That’s just a moose.
Melissa: This is getting boring.
POOF SPARKLE!!!!
Back in glen-
Melissa: This is still boring.
ZERO GRAVITY!!!
Squee: Squee…
Melissa: You psychotic b- WHUMP!
Melissa: No more weightlessness for YOU.
Melissa zooms around.
Melissa: WHEEEE!!!
Squee: Let me down please…
WHUMP!
Squee: Ow….
Squee: Hey, you’re still the one who killed my parents…
Melissa: You’re better off without them. What happened to Jhonen?
POOF!
Jhonen: DAMMIT! I thought I escaped this place.
Melissa: Nope, you can never escape… never…
Jhonen: Then how can I write more comic books?
Melissa: I have that taken care of. POOF! Now you have a custom writing room with POOF! Floating angel bunnies.
Jhonen: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Johnny: This is the most horrible punishment ever! HAVE MERCY!!!!!
Melissa:Oh, ok, you crybabies.
Jhonen: You bore me.
POOF!
Devi: What? Oh, goddammit…
Johnny: Quick spray her with mace.
Devi: PSSSSSSSSSSSS… Shit it isn’t working.
Melissa: Owchies. Yay.
Squee: Um, ken I go?
POOF!
Johnny: HEY! How come he gets to go?!?!?!
Melissa: Because.
Johnny: Because why?
Melissa: Why because.
Johnny: Because why because.
Melissa: Why because why because.
Johnny: Ummm…..
Melissa: Indeed.
Johnny: AHH! Tricked again…
Melissa: Silly homicidal maniac, trix are for kids.
Devi: Shut up, just shut up. I just found out someone controls everything I say and do and what happens to me. I’m sick of it.
Melissa: You’re mean. POOF! You’re in a invisible unbreakable box. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Devi mouths expletives no one can hear cuz of the box.
Johnny: Uh, can I leave?
Melissa: Of course………………..NOT!
Johnny: You (EXPLITIVE)!!!!
Melissa: BOX TIME! In with Devi.
POOF!
Nny: mouths something to Devi. Devi sprays him with her mace.
Nny collapses, writhing in pain.
Melissa: This is wonderful, hahahahaaaa! That Devi sure can kick.
Uh, Oh. Nny’s fighting back. Better save Devi.
POOF!
Nny: Mouths words, loudly.
POOF!
Nny: Choke, gasp….
Melissa: Hello.
Johnny: Not…air…in…box…wheeze.
Melissa: Time for filler bunny.
POOF!
Filler Bunny: Hello. Watch my dance. Surely you are entertained, yes? Please kill me.
Melissa: Okydoky.
POOF! Splat.
Filler bunny explodes into a thousand pieces.
Nny: Choke, gasp…cough. (Chokes up piece of fillerbunny)
Melissa: Mmm. Tastes like assmeat.
Johnny: You… I’m going to kill you, yet.
Johnny lunges at Melissa.
Melissa: Box time.
Nny back in box. Mouths silent obscenities. Looks like a mine, Nny gasps and slowly sinks to the ground. Running out of air.
Melissa: Maybe I should have made air holes. POOF! There we go…
Nny: Gasp… YOU PSYCHO-
Melissa: Hey I can take away the air holes.
Johnny: Shut up.
Melissa: No more air holes.
Nny suffocates soon after.
Melissa: What have I done, oh, poor Johnny.
Nny suddenly sits up with a bagel and a brainfreezy for some reason.
Melissa: Box begone.
Johnny: Hell was fun, better than here, anyway.
Melissa: Well fine.
POOF! (Melissa has a gun.)
Melissa: DIE!!! (Shoots Nny)
Melissa: well, that’s that.