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Spanish:

Sierra la boca: Shut your mouth

Perra: bitch

Pendejo: asshole

Hoijo de puta: Son of a bitch

Cabron: jack ass

Mireda: shit

French:

Merde: shit

Casse-toi: piss off

Con: idiot

Salaud: bastard

Salope: whore

Putain: FUCK!

Encular a chien: Fuck a dog!

Gnommish: (owned by Eoin Colfer, author of Artemis Fowl. Spoken by everyone underground)

D’arvit: fuck

G.S.L.: (galactic standard language, owned by ME. Spoken everywhere but Earth.)

Sirn: hell

Gand: shit

gandit: shitting

Kman: fuck

kmanit: fucking

Gandit Kman: I’ll let you work it out

Fudge: (or, fudgemonkeys) just a general word of unhappiness, dammit.

The hitchhikers: (Douglass Adams, who wrote hitchhiker’s guide to the Galaxy, which also rocks. Used by hitchhikers.)

Belgium: The WORST CUSS WORD EVER. There is not an English translation.

Zark: fuck

Zarking: fucking

Photon: used in conjuction with zarking. What the zarking photon?

Joohooflop: fucked up. One whole joojooflop situation.

Swut: Unknown. I just want to be swutting well rescued.

Turlingdrome: messed up situation

Lapine: (owned by whoever wrote Watership Down, which is AWESOME. Spoken by…er… rabbits.)

Hraka: shit

Embeer: stinking

Embleer-rah: king of stink

Embleer frith: god DAMN!

Silfaly hraka: go eat shit

Silfaly hraka u embleer rah: go eat shit, king of stink.

Various: (used from general places, I don’t even know where)

Beep: whatever you want. Can be used as an actual swearword.

Dren: shit

Fahrbot: stupid or crazy

Farking iceholes: offesive name

Frick: not as bad as fuck. For beginners, mostly

Meecrob: Thai food which Cartman says is so bad it MUST be a curse.

Mibs: used by the coneheads as a general curse.

Smurf: smurf cuss word

Spoot: angry beavers, used in place of crap (spoot-head, etc)

Fuckin’ A: this is English, but I still like it. Anybody have any fucking clue where this came from?

Acronyms involving fuck: (shamelessly piflered from Wikipedia)
BFG9000: Big Fucking Gun 9000 (From the Doom series)
FUBAR: fucked up beyond all recognition (or repair); in computer programming examples, this is often split up into foo and bar and used as names of program variables, routines, etc.
FFS: For Fuck's Sake
FGI: Fucking Google It
FIGJAM: Fuck I'm Good, Just Ask Me
FIFO: Fit in, or Fuck Off
FNG: Fucking New Guy (military term, usually the status of recent transfers)
FUDIE: fuck you and die
FUGAZI: fucked up, got ambushed, zipped in
FOAD: fuck off and die
FYM: fuck your mother
GFYS: go fuck yourself
GTFO: get the fuck out
IHTFP: I Hate This Fucking Place; in common usage at MIT, where it may also be (more positively) expanded as "I Have Truly Found Paradise", "the Institute Has the Finest Professors", "It's Hard to Focus Projectors", and so forth.
LMFAO: laughing my fucking ass off
MILF: Mom I'd Like to Fuck
NFC: No Fucking Clue (to have no idea, or to be ignorant)
NFG: No Fucking Good (most often written on equipment to express to everyone that the object is no good and should leave it alone)
OMFG: Oh My Fucking God
PFO: Please Fuck Off (usually refers to a letter of rejection from a potential employer)
RTFM: read the fucking manual
SNAFU: situation normal, all fucked up
STFU: shut the fuck up
STFW: search the fucking Web
SUSFU : Situation unchanged, still fucked up
SFA: sweet fuck all (often Bowdlerised as 'Sweet Fanny Adams') - doing nothing.
TARFU: things are really fucked up
TUIFU: the ultimate in fuck-ups
WOFTAM: waste of fucking time and money
WTF: what/where/who/why the fuck?

Shit happens jokes, also from wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_%22Shit_happens%22_jokes

1984: SHIT IS FOOD

12-step program:

Shit happens one day at a time.

I am powerless over this shit.
Agnosticism: You can't prove any of this shit happens.

Anglicanism:
It's true, shit does happen -- but only to Lutherans.
Shit happens. God save the Queen.

 Bahá'í Faith: Shit happens universally.

Bureaucrat: I'm sorry, but we can't make this shit happen until you fill out form XJ-314159 to make an appointment with our Assistant Sub-Deputy Manager to obtain form ZN-271828...

Calvinism: Shit won't happen if you work harder, and you are shit.

Capitalism: Shit happens to have a fair market value.

Communism: Shit that happens is common and for all.

Catholicism:

Shit happens but as long as you repent, it's OK.

Shit happens if you wear condoms.

If shit happens, you deserve it

Charismatic catholicism:

Shit is happening because you deserve it, but we love you anyway.

Medieval version — If you say shit is happening, you'll burn at the stake.

Church of Scientology:

If you leave us, bad shit will happen to you.

If shit happens, it's your fault.

A million years ago, some crazy alien shit happened, and we're still cleaning it up.

Raelianism: Some crazy alien shit is gonna happen any day now.

Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens".

Creation Science: Shit has only been happening since October 23rd 4004 B.C.

Discordianism: FLYING BABY SHIT HAPPENS!!!!!

Dyslexia:

Tihs happens.

This happens.

Epicurus: If shit happens, enjoy it.

Existentialism:

Shit doesn't happen; shit is.

Shit happening is absurd.

Fatalism: Oh shit, it's going to happen!

Fetishism: I love it when shit happens.

Greek Orthodox Church: Shit happens, usually in threes.

Hare Krishna:

Shit Happens, Rama Rama Ding Ding.

Shit Happens, Happens Happens Shit Shit.

Horsekeeping: Shit usually happens just after you have mucked the horse out, or just after it goes ito its stable.

Islamic Fundamentalists: If shit happens, it's a Zionist-Crusader plot!

Jehovah's Witnesses:

Knock! Knock! "Shit happens!".

May we tell you why "Shit happens?"

Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us?

Lutheranism: Have faith that shit will happen.

Mathematics: Shit happening is just a special case...

Matrix: In reality, there is no shit. It's all in your imagination.

Mormonism: If shit happens, shun it.

New Age: Visualize shit happening...

Pilates: Shit leaves after a few weeks.

Presbyterianism: This shit was bound to happen.

Protestantism: If shit happens, you deserved it.

Purist: If shit has to happen, let ONLY shit happen.

Quakers: Be silent and wait for shit to happen, friend.

Quayleism: Shite happense.

Rastafari: Let's smoke this shit.

Sadism: Let's rape and torture this shit.

Seventh Day Adventists: Shit happens on Saturdays.

Southern Baptist: Shit will happen. Praise the lord.

Surrealism: Fish.

Taoism: Shit happens.

Televangelism: Your tax-deductible donation could make this shit stop happening.

The Force: Shit... You're My Son.

Unification Church: Only happy shit really happens.

Voodoo: Shit doesn't just happen -- somebody dumped it on you.

Wicca: If shit happened once, it will happen twice more.

Wikism: Shit can be left in a public place for others to improve on.

Witchcraft: Mix this shit together and it will happen.

Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?

Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half the time.