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Wow, the Irkens. Where to start?
I guess I’ll start with their PAKs. Irkens all wear a cybernetic PAK on their back. This contains a translator, atmospheric
adjustor, binoculars, four ‘spider legs’ and a variety of other goodies. They can also shoot lasers and emit force
fields that are flat or in the shape of spheres.
The mind, memories, and personality of an Irken is stored in their PAK. Without it connected to their backs, they get stupid
and die after about ten minutes. The PAK can be attached to a new host, who then gets their memories. However, Irkens can
remove and attach their PAKs at will, to work on them or whatever.
The PAK is also a remote uplink to the Control Brains on Irk. The control brains regulate thought. They can automatically
make any PAK think what the Brains tell them to. This is really great for brainwashing purposes.
The Irkens originated on planet Irk. They are green with Red, Purple or green eyes. They are varying heights, but the taller
they are the better political status they have. They have gender, but somehow manage to do so without any actual sex organs.
Irkens come from tubes. (LUCKY!)
The only real difference between male and female Irkens is that female’s antennae are curled at the end. They also
have higher voices. There do not seem to be very many of them, seeing as there are only two in the show. Both of them are
Invaders, the highest of the Irken Elite, showing that Irkens are an equal-opportunity planet. There don’t seem to be
any female soldiers, but that could be because of their apparent rarity. Also, both females have purple eyes, but that could
also be just a coincidence.
The Irkens like to conquer planets. Among the planets already conquered are Vort, Blorch, Dirt, Devastis, and Hobo 13.
Other planets conquered, (but evidently renamed,) are Conventia, Callnowia, Foodcourtia, Conveyor Belt Planet, Exploding head
planets, planet of Broken Glass, and a Storage planet. Planets that are going to be conquered, or at least have Invaders on
them are, Boodie Nen, Meekrob, and Earth. Plus every other planet in the universe because that’s what Universal Conquest
IS.
Once a planet has been conquered, any life forms left are evaluated. If they are non-sentient or more powerful than the
Irkens, they are destroyed. If they are smarter or weaker than the Irkens, they are forced into slavery. Vort is an example
of this, it was conquered and now the technologically-advanced Vorts are forced to build things for the Irkens. (Vorts are
filthy, according to Zim. But he doesn’t like anyone.)
Irkens have several holidays, most of which are anniversaries of an event. These events are normally 1: bad, and 2: caused
by Zim.
Probing day is a day when the Tallest go around and inspect all the Invader’s progress. Probing day is March
30th. On the Probing day on the show, the Tallest demanded puppet shows.
To fail inspection means that the Invader gets a Pummeling.
Horrible painful overload day is Zim’s birthday. Tiny Zim was born from a tube, given a PAK, and then all Irken
Knowledge as downloaded into the PAK. Zim was then pushed out of the download chair, and told to report for duty. But that
wasn‘t good enough for Zim, oh no. He claimed the entire download chamber as his own. When a second smeet (baby Irken)
was dropped down into the chair from a tube, Zim told him the room was claimed. The smeet, who was still a baby, didn’t
know what was going on, so Zim shoved him back up the tube. This caused a backup system failure which plunged Irk into darkness
for five years.
Horrible painful overload day part II was when Zim, about ten years later, was still in training to be part of the
Military. He had never seen the surface of Irk, and he wanted to. He convinced Skoodge to go with him to the surface. They
escaped the training facility, and almost made it. A Dermis Prowler Security droid found them,a nd Zim threw Skoodge the other
way and ram while the Droid was distracted. The damage the droid caused made Irk dark for another four years.
Tallest Miyuki’s death happened on Vort research station 9. She was going there to see what advances the Vort
(not yet conquered) had made. Zim was there. Since he destroys everything he touches they assumed he’d excel at military
research. Anyway, an infinite energy destroyer thingie (mad by Zim) ate an infinite energy producing thing, and that made
it into a monster which ate Miyuki and then took off.
Tallest Spork’s death was caused a few years alter when the Infinate energy thingie came abck and ate him.
Operation impending doom I was ruined when Zim stole a Frontline battlemech and wreaked havok on Irk. He thought he
was doing good, really he did.
Operation Impending doom II was almost ruined when Zim showed up, but the tallest have sent him far, FAR away in hopes
that he will be killed.
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